This is crazy my mind whispers over the sound of my creaking back. Can I do this? Can we really do this? I whisper to my husband in the dark. I mean, if we just sit tight and push out another 10 to 15 years of work, we can retire and focus on starting a business later. Aren’t we going to need something to keep us busy in retirement?

Leap Of Faith

If I were being completely honest, there is something far worse than the fear of starting over. It is the fear of white-knuckling it another decade or two; perhaps never realizing my dreams. Hanging on to the hope that we can explore our true passions when our careers are over is downright bleak. What if I’m too old and cranky by that point? Worse yet, what if my timeline is cut short? Besides, I can’t stop thinking, ‘What if…?’ What if I jumped in and started a business then hated it? What if I love what I start and feel alive again? What if I fail and feel embarrassed for even trying? What if I succeed? What if I absolutely crush this new venture and my life is forever changed for the better? So many what-ifs!

I have a plethora of questions rolling in my head. How do others make the leap into new careers? How many are successful at my age? I’ll be fifty in less than 2 years. 50 ya’ll! Is it possible to start over at this stage in life?

Comfort Cage

I’m re-discovering (or realizing for the millionth time) that my greatest enemy is me. Real talk- I’m COMFORTABLE!! With a capital “C”. Not only am I comfortable, but my life is predictable, and it affords me a certain amount of automation and ease. My routine is solid. I don’t have to think too hard or push myself creatively. I know my career well. I’ve been doing it most of my adult life. This new career venture will be a big fat learning curve. A learning curve that costs, money, time, and ego. All of this is at the root of my fear.

And yet, I’m doing it. I’ve made the leap. It was a small decision at first. I simply registered my business and went to bed. Next, my hubby and I wrote out a business plan, opened business accounts, and so on. We just kept taking one more step. Even after doing all of that,  fear is still present.

I carry that fear into each new opportunity. Fear is my messy roommate but I won’t let it stifle my life. I choose to do it scared. Why? Because I want my kids to see a strong and driven woman with enough grit to go after her dreams even if it terrifies me. I also want to show up for me the way I have shown up for my job. I am worth the commitment. We are worth the risk. If we are given this one life in the flesh, let’s make it count. I absolutely want to experience what it’s like to build something from scratch. I want to know what it feels like working for myself even if I discover I hate it. I’m going to keep moving towards my 50-year-old dream.

Dream Big!

What are your impossible dreams? Have you taken your next best step towards them? Together we can move forward knees (replacements) knocking, backs creaking, and new adventures before us. Let’s choose us and take our next best step. Go on! You know you want to.

P.S. Our, “One Year in Business”, anniversary is this June 2020!!! And we are alive and kickin’. I’m still amazed that we embraced the fear and started towards fulfilling our life long dream of opening Sowl Studios online. I’m so grateful we did!

Until we meet again, I wish you unshakeable faith, wealth beyond measure, and laughter till it hurts.

Love ya!  Kim Jagwe, proud Co-Owner of Sowl Studios

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