Reinventing myself is a journey and a testimony all it’s own.  If you have done it, then you know what I am talking about.  Changing how you operate and relate to the world is both awesome and brutal at the same time.  I recall as I was fighting for  health and making, “what I thought was a simple change”,  all hell broke lose in my life.  I naively believed everyone who knew me and knew my battle with food addiction would celebrate with me as the weight started coming off.  And some did celebrate.  My mom  and my sisters were my greatest supporters. There’s also best friend.  She asked questions so she could understand me better.  She also chose to love me through the process.  She stayed for the learning curve.  Many others, either distanced themselves or walked away.  One of my closer childhood friends spread an ugly rumor that I was on drugs and that’s why I was losing weight.  Anyone who knows me well, will tell you I am the worlds biggest chicken when it comes to intoxicants including  prescription meds.  I struggle with taking basic ibuprofen because I don’t like to feel dependent on any foreign substances.  And here’s some real talk.  If I could abuse brownies and bagels , then the possibility for substance abuse might be higher for someone like me.  For that reason I drew a hard line!  Ok, justification rant over!

So why did so many walk away?  I can only speculate and go on a few clues that presented themselves.  Here’s what I believe:

When you change, it requires others to make a decision.

They no longer have the same type of relationship with you.  They must decide if the new person you are becoming, fits their lifestyle.  This is neither good or bad.  its just a preference.   The real pain comes when you must part ways.  I’ve learned to be careful with the narrative I feed my soul during the parting phase.  It can be sad  to part way; but in time you heal.  If you do not anticipate the pain of  departure then you run the risk  to self sabotaging  your new journey.  You will allow your old lifestyle to creep back in and take away the pain change inevitably brings.  Stand strong and choose wisely.

When you change, your life expands.

Change brings new experiences and opportunities.   Your vocabulary changes and new habits are formed.  New people with similar interests enter your life. It’s a part of the process. People who knew you back in the day, may not be able to relate or they may feel they did not sign up for this.  And in reality, they didn’t.  You changed the game.  And it’s okay.  Just realize, a new game will often mean  the loss of old friends and the embracing of new people, new places and new experiences. This is exciting for you but may be intimidating for old relationships.

Change takes time.

Change takes time in the literal sense.  Metamorphosis doesn’t happen overnight.  Change also takes time away from the things you used to do so you can put more time into what you are currently doing. This means previous relationships may not get what they’ve always received.  We all get 24 hours in a day.  If we give everything the same amount of time we always have, we would never be able to start something new.  There just wouldn’t be enough time.  As you begin reallocating and prioritizing your time, just know something’s gotta give.  For me, I have and will always choose to prioritize my nucleus family and shift everything else.  This has caused hurt feelings in the past and may do so in the future.  I am aware of it.  I do my best to communicate and show love in the process.  Inevitably, people get hurt.  I now know this too is a part of the process.  Acknowledge their feelings and yours, pray if you are led to and keep moving!

Change brings a new tribe!

This is by far my favorite perk of change.  Change invites like-minded spirits.  This is super exciting.  How awesome is it to be surrounded by others who share your passion? I am reminded of the verse ” As iron sharpens iron”.   It’s one of my favorites because it’s true!  Recently, I attended my first business conference.  It was free and specifically geared towards female entrepreneurs.  I loved every second.  The speakers were dynamic, engaging and miles ahead of me.  I felt like a fish out of water and I was okay with it.  I gleaned as much as I could from them.  I also met lots of new people.  I am opening myself up to new connections and slowly forming a new tribe.  I have this theory that every person is NOT a forever connection. It’s just the ebb and flow of relationships.  Some leave to make space for others.  This is okay!  Saying Goodbye often hurts but they soon make room for Hello’s.  Embrace the journey and keep an open heart for new tribe members.  It is worth it!

Make room for: unshakeable faith, wealth beyond measure and laughter ’til it hurts.

Kim J.

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Breakthrough to a Better Future