Being authentically you may cost you; BUT…it’s worth it!

I’ve certainly paid more than I bargained for; and I don’t regret it!  The other night I had to pray myself to sleep.  Before turning out the lights, I picked up my bible for a quick calm me down.  Shortly after, I flipped the switch.  The room was instantly dark and calm, but  my mind remained in overdrive.  Softly, I whispered to myself, “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.  Philippians 4:7 is one of those  bible verses your Sunday school teachers encourage you to memorize early on.  I didn’t actually need to look it up.  I was simply trying to break the thought loop I was caught in.  You know that thought loop where you replay a certain scenario over and over again.  You imagine all the things you could or should have said in the moment.

This particular instance I was recalling happened years ago but it still had the power to torture me!  How could  that be?  I believe it’s because I never dealt with it honestly. For years my default was to say what I thought others wanted to hear.  Rarely would you hear me share my true thoughts on certain matters .  As a matter of fact, I built a life around hiding my feelings.  I would divert attention from myself through humor.  If I could make you laugh, then maybe you would feel better and like me more.  And if you liked me more, I would become valuable to you.  I had the nasty of finding my self worth in others 🙁

So what changed?  EVERYTHING!  God has a way of transforming your life.  He got all up in my mental hot mess and started changing me from the inside out.  And let me tell you, it has been terrifying and liberating all at the same time.  With God as my strength, I am becoming authentically me in Christ.

I say “no” when I mean “no” and “yes” when it is right.

I have accepted that I am flawed with a sin nature.  ( I no longer apologize for being human, but I will repent for sinning against you and change accordingly!)

I choose to forgive myself and others quicker and with sincerity!

I ask for what I need and give consciously .

I am willing to walk away from relationships that are not good for me.

I am grateful when others walk away because they  do not value me!

I will love you  and pray for you even if we part ways.

I am thankful that God is transforming me.  (I not only acknowledge that I cannot do it on my own, I am relieved by this truth.)

I  live my truth daily.  When I fail, I forgive myself and try again!

If you struggle as I do, I challenge you to begin with one of the above steps and work your way through the list.  This process has taken me more than 2 years and is ongoing.    It has been worth every second!  I will continue because I desire so much more for myself.  I want a healthier future.  And I will have it.  How about you?

This is a lot of truth to lay on you and I want you to hear this:  You are worth truth and love!!  Jesus made sure of that!  Be authentically you.   You owe it to yourself and God.  And remember, if you lose friends along the way, new ones, who appreciate you, will come.  Just hold on!

I am praying for you and with you!   As always, cultivate unshakeable faith, wealth beyond measure and laughter ’til it hurts.

Kim J.

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Too Old to Prosper??